i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize