Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
