maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
