Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
