White coat. Heels.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
