The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize