this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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