He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
