I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
