is wine microwaveable?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
