Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So I just went to clothing optional bar
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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