I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Duck Duck Cougar?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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