Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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