I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
