I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She even gives head with a lisp.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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