So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
