and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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