super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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