i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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