Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
