Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
