I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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