someone get that fucking seahorse.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize