He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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