Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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