I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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