If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
