Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
