I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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