Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
