Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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