I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
