the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize