But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
