What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she smelled like a LAN party
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
