you mean i was at the winter classic?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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