you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
