we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
