also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
