it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
