So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
