Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
