i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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