I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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