I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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