i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
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