Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
