Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
