yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
