Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
