Don't make out with my wife yet
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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