I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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