I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
