are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We need to get me chipped asap
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
