There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
