Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just gargled with NyQuil
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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