Do vagina's smell?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
