Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
