I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
