never play flip cup with pint glasses
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
